Abstract Painting + Personal Rant

My main goal for this piece was to break away from the full palette of colors in the previous work. After that exercise, I knew that my knowledge and experience with color was not where it should be. I’ve learned that color is strongly influenced by its surrounding colors, so the organization of my color usage is what I needed to figure out. I decided to focus on smaller steps, such as using gradual changes in values. Also, using complimentary colors. Practicing these elementary principles will help me in my future adaptations of the rorschach series. Other things I considered were graphic shapes in contrast to the organic rorschach, also asymmetrical composition in contrast to the vertical symmetry of  the rorschach. I hoped to use more simple characteristics to make the work less heavy on the viewer, but to me it’s still busy.

Back to the use of color, hues can be quite deceiving to our naked eye, two identical colors can look so different with a warm or cool surrounding. It’s even hard to convince yourself they’re the same color even if you know it’s true. It’s basically an illusion, which is fascinating to me. As conscious and in-tune we think we are in reality, there are things in this universe that play tricks on us. What can we believe and why will we believe it? It all ties back into the theme of perception. What do we tell ourselves and what is the truth? In my opinion, art is subjective and the one truth that matters lies within your consciousness. Some people view art so objectively, thinking that it represents what it is. For example, if someone painted a fruit bowl. They see it as a fruit bowl and nothing else. But what I appreciate in art, is that it brings you thoughts that would never have reached you prior to the experience. To me that fruit bowl would make me think of the natural pigments of plants and the amazing flavors of each one. When observing a real fruit bowl vs. painting, these senses are similar, but not the same. Somehow, the painting can tell us much more. But that depends on how much the viewer wants to listen.

This discovery of deception, subjectivity, perception and illusions in art really connects to me as an artist. I hope to use art to bridge these ideas into real life. Exploring more about the human condition. What thoughts can be transferred through my work and why the fuck does it matter. I’ve come to realize the labor of being an artist is hard, just like any other occupation in life. But what’s the point of going to school, doing all these things, if I don’t know how to make it matter. I need use the things I learn for a purpose. It’s easy to have a job doing things that already have set guidelines and consumers like children’s books or a clothing line. But in my life I hope to find something more significant and precious. My fear in life is to put all of my efforts into something that doesn’t matter. To waste the privileges I’ve been given and not create something greater than someone without privileges. I’ve always been a lazy person, inconsiderate, and pretentious. But one quality I’ve gained in the past two years is being true to myself. Keeping track of what makes me a shitty person, a great person, what makes me grow, what makes me unhappy, and why. I can’t fix my life but I can be aware of what comes next and prepare for a change. But somethings work out or they don’t.

Rorschach Series Entry #6

I did my large scale, full color piece today. It was on dye-ready, white silk that has a light silver shimmery appearance. I started with curved lines and used mid-tone colors. (red, orange,yellow). I was advised that saving the darker values (green, blue, purple) for last would allow me to pop the other colors out. However, i felt that having the dark colors in front seemed to be a dominant focus.

The line work was interesting as a graphic piece, but that wasn’t the intention of my project. I needed to create more individual shapes so that I could construct images out of them. (rorschach effect). So I added much more paint to get some blobs and shapes.

I’ve learned a good amount from this piece because I did go through some frustrating steps. Which is okay, because that means I’m being challenged and learning. I’ve realized that even in an uncontrolled abstract piece like this, theres specific things to be conscious of, in addition to being free minded and loose. Things like color choice, composition, contrast, depth, texture, variations. I thought most of these things happen naturally in an abstract work, but I found that planning these things is the key. It’s not the style or genre of “abstract” that defines the work, it’s the method and choices the artist chose to use. Not abstract due to its appearance, but abstract for the theory behind it and unconventional practices used to create it. Using color should always be controlled somehow, in this case, I should have create LESS contrast with each individual section of color. The current contrast starts to break up the shapes and separated parts. My goal was to merge colors with similar values, in order to group areas together, allowing the viewer to see something there. More gradation helps define forms, while too much value change makes a separation where things are broken and don’t construct a silhouette.

The main thing I always seem to disregard is following my intuition. I haven’t been able to listen to my teacher’s advice and neglect what I don’t agree with. My work is overly complex right now because I’m putting in too many good ideas. But good ideas need supporting elements that make it stand out. When there’s too many considerations in the work, nothing is really clear. From now on I am going to try and manage my decisions better, because in school, professors will influence their specific styles and opinions onto me, because that’s their position as an artist. But I need to realize my own position and really show my own opinions in the work to make it mine.

Rorschach Entry # 5

I’ve recently been inspired by the artist David Choe. His attitude of creating art and passion really translates into his works. He’s a character without angst and does things for the thrill of it, not to thrill others. There’s a flow to his pieces because he’ll just go for it and move on to the next, mainly his spray paintings. He’s not there to try and make something look a certain way, he draws the image the way it comes out of him.

I wish to become more like David Choe and create work with his mindset. To do things more freely, instinctively, and less cautious. There’s a difference between the feel of a realistic rendered painting versus a painting that has its own boundaries or rules. Seeing images that exist outside of the real world creates a foreign experience. It’s much more personal and unique. Finding a balance and combining these feelings of familiar vs foreign images is intriguing and provokes the viewer to search and make sense of the obscurities. Producing that search in someone has the power to communicate any idea.

My teacher taught me that in traditional Western painting, there are three categories: Abstract, Conceptual, and Descriptive. Seeing these categories made so many artworks I’ve seen make more sense. Most of the time people are merging each category with another, to create more visual interest. With my two illustrative Rorschach pieces, aside from the application arts, I will be merging Abstract forms into Descriptive, recognizable images [full/all colors]. For the next, like the experimental tiger-like painting above, taking a recognizable image and describing that with abstract forms this time in [black and white].

The two pieces will give me a change to exercise color theory, new material (fabric, thread), scale, negative/positive shapes, composition (for b&w piece), rendering, and free hand mark-making.

Rorschach Series Entry #4

Currently trying to execute final projects. Always a challenge, learning some small things as I go. Mainly organizing how to convey my ideas and process work. I’m lucky to have these teachers to guide me right now, always receiving good feedback and insights. But it’s easy to accept what sounds good and just follow through. I’m catching myself losing sight of my inner instinct, which will define the kind of artist I am. I have to be conscious that I’m not always going to have someone to get advice from when I’m confused or lost. I have to learn to figure out how to execute my ideas with direction. To do things my way, after respecting the opinions of others. To take and leave advice and criticism and mold it into a motive.

In school I’ll be told to do many styles of art, in the sake of learning technique. But after all the grueling training I’ll suffer.. when I’m at a level of fully trusting my instinct, I want to be an artist/designer who makes the decisions. Instead of being told what to express. I will not create solely for the sake of others’ satisfaction. My dream is to create my own work, that first satisfies my intentions in the world, then share it with those who are willing, accepting to what it is. To join the ride if they like it, abandon me if they don’t. Sounds nice to make money off pretty images that don’t mean anything and are fairly easy to make. But that kind of artist is placing him or herself into a blind audience. An audience that is not as involved  or present in the world of art. Those people may not appreciate film makers, poetry and literature, musicians, dancers, craftsmen, engineers, as much as the artists who really care. I hope to reach out to those in the world who are willing to see through another’s experience in life. As I have through every artist I’ve observed. I wish to appeal to individuals, on higher levels of thought, instead of surface impressions of art. Instead of impressions I want to deliver an impact. Nothing you can walk away from, something that will linger in your mind and return in another instance. I’d rather have things work out that way instead of working for a company and get paid for a project that requires my skills like a robot or factory worker. I may not change the world, but if I can move the minds of a handful of people, it can begin to grow from there.

Note to Self

The momentum of my work seems to change because of the new challenges I face. Sometimes there’s a clear direction towards how to execute an idea; by following steps, constructing little by little. Sometimes I get stuck because I’m bombarded with several ideas not knowing where to start or if what I’m doing is any good.  As of now, I struggle with balancing how to make conceptual ideas visually comprehensible and visually appealing works conceptual. There’s such a silver lining in the two, however, everyone is going to have their own opinions about that. As an illustrator, I need to just express my vision, instead challenging it to fit with someone else. I’m beginning to over think the steps in creating art, making things more complicated and complex, a personal trait of mine. It’s quite the struggle when reaching artist-block and I’m sure this will happen hundreds of times but as long as I’m conscious of what I need to solve, it will only make me a stronger artist. I’ve noticed how important the role of time and effort plays into our daily lives, not just in art but anything. What ever you make yourself a part of with your efforts and thought, it will all build up over time, and a constant struggle is was makes us better. Becoming great at something comes over time, having learned all the foundation, shortcuts, tips and tricks, and most importantly how to overcome struggles with passion.

The most rewarding art is something easy to handle, not too heavy on thought, and seems like the artist didn’t struggle while making it. It’s fresh, energetic, and lively. Like every element of the work was a conscious decision, a problem solved, and very intentional. In contrast to the art looking like it was easy, reaching that state in a final work has obstacles. There’s always ideation and proposals, then reconstruction or refining those ideas, then experimentation, and discoveries. Basically the process never ends until the artist decides how far to take it. An artist with fine craftsmanship enjoys the “making” of the art. However, “conceiving” an idea is the hard part, that takes innovation and inspiration. All food for thought, which contributes to the beauty of art: that there is a certain obstacle in the creative process, followed by a viewer experience. There’s no capacity for art, it can be nothing and so much more at the same time. All depending on what struggles or obstacles the artist chose to face.

Aside from that heavy perception of art I’ve come to realize, back to habits of my own creative process. I tend make things too serious and finalized. Too concerned about if this work is relative to other people or the world.  Trying to make thing too professional or successful, because I’m worried of the competition. But honestly, what position am I in to be so concerned? I’m lucky to be in this learning stage where mistakes are encouraged as long as I show how I fix them. Drawing is mostly trial and error, nothing comes out perfect your first try. I have years to learn perhaps even a decade before I label my self a profesional in one field. I need to step back and realize that it, again, takes time with effort to reach goals. Now is the time where my ideas should be “out there”, to leave the boundaries because there are none! I am a free artist and that is something to embrace. People who are working for companies or starting their own projects, they are faced with so many limitations of what to create and how to create it. There’s many obstacles, which make the final product so valuable and powerful like video games or advertising. But as of now, no one is controlling what I create, which means there is an opportunity to show exactly how much struggle I want to endure and how much passion I have by facing my own obstacles and overcoming them. As of now, I am not demonstrating what I need to. I need to loosen up, be more free and less confined to these made up rules, just do what I feel, and show it.

Rorschach Series Entry #3

Experimenting with color was fun, some new textures were created, as well as mixtures of color. It may look more appealing, but the seemed to distract the viewer from the forms. Instead of trying to construct an image in the inkblot, it turned into observing pretty colors.

So, I came to the conclusion that using one solid color was more powerful and engaging in the right way. If any color were to be added, it would be just one, to act as small accents or compliments to the main forms. Another reason to use color is to create a more friendly, less intense feeling. Maybe on a small blanket.

Aside from color, I tried using a black background, with lighter colored ink. The alternative vibe was interesting, so I’ll probably use that later.

My exploration has reached an end, I am now ready to start my final projects. I have decided to do application art, making my own furniture and accessories. When I started brainstorming, all I was doing was placing this ‘appealing’ design on objects, using it was a pattern. I put it on a pillow, rug, lamp cover, etc. But that has nothing to do with the characteristics of a rorschach. It doesn’t convey anything more than a simple pattern.

In that discovery, my teacher made me realize that designing has to be relative, especially interactive with the consumer. The person using my design should be involved physically and mentally. They bought my product to be captivated in the experience.

Therefore, I needed to think of what the rorschach represents and how to relate that to what I make. The rorschach embodies psychology, symmetry, folding, unintentional marks, and a story. With those qualities in mind, I will create a therapist style couch, folding sunglasses, a thinking neck pillow, and personal journal with a new rorschach on each page. Each project is more focused on why I am using a rorschach in the first place.

Another thing my teacher really helped me realize is turning pattern into form. My chair will have patterns of the inkblot that will continue as forms of the chair. Creating a free flowing effect.

Rorschach Series Entry #2

Today my teacher suggested I put my experiments on the wall to take a look at what I like and dislike about each one. That definitely helped me see what direction I wanted to take this project, as I get closer to the final version.

We discovered that the abstract inkblots were much more powerful than the inkblots that were of a bird, tiger, and lion. The mystery is really what makes these forms intriguing.

So I went back to the random forms, tried making 3D shapes with paper and used water color. Next I’ll be using colored acrylic ink to get some vibrant effects.